Sarah Jessica Parker Horoscope: Your Guide to the Stars

Well, howdy there! Let’s gab a bit about this Sarah Jessica Parker, you know, the gal from that city show. I heard folks are all a-flutter about her horoscope, whatever that is. Sounds fancy, like somethin’ them city folk do.

Who’s this Sarah Jessica Parker Anyways?

Now, I ain’t no expert, but from what I gather, Sarah Jessica, she’s a big-time actress. Born way back in 1965, March 25th to be exact, in some place called Nelsonville, USA. Heard tell she’s 59 years young now. Time flies, don’t it? Just like them chickens in my yard, always a-scurryin’.

Star Signs and Such

Folks say she’s an Aries. Don’t ask me what that means, but it has somethin’ to do with the stars, I reckon. Like them twinklin’ lights up yonder at night. They also say somethin’ about her goin’ up sign bein’ Cancer and her moon sign bein’ Capricorn. Sounds like a whole lotta mumbo jumbo to me, but hey, to each their own.

• Aries: This is her main star thingy, they call it the Sun sign.
• Cancer: This is her ascendant, somethin’ about how she appears to folks.
• Capricorn: This here’s her moon sign, deals with her insides, her feelin’s and such.

Birth Chart and All That Jazz

Them smarty-pants astrologers, they look at somethin’ called a birth chart. It’s like a map of the stars when Sarah Jessica was born. They say it tells ya all sorts of things about a person. I guess it’s like lookin’ at the tea leaves, only fancier. They look at where all them planets were and what that means for her life. Must be a whole heap of work, if you ask me.

Horoscope Guide? Land Sakes!

Now, there’s talk of a Sarah Jessica Parker horoscope guide. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in one of them magazines at the beauty parlor. I reckon it tells ya what kind of day she’s gonna have, or maybe what to expect in the future. Like whether she’ll find a lucky penny or if her chickens will lay extra eggs. Just guessin’, mind you. I don’t rightly know.

Free Horoscopes? Ain’t Nothin’ Truly Free!

I even heard tell you can get a free horoscope online. There’s this place in Switzerland, they call it Astrodienst, that gives ’em out. Free, they say. But you know what they say, ain’t nothin’ truly free in this world. There’s always a catch. Maybe they want your email so they can send you a bunch of them spam letters. I get enough of them already, thank ya very much.

What’s it All Mean?

So, what’s the upshot of all this horoscope business? Well, I reckon it’s just a way for folks to feel like they got a handle on things. Life’s a messy ol’ hen house, and sometimes it’s nice to think the stars can give ya a bit of guidance. Whether it’s true or not, well, that’s up to you to decide. Me? I’ll stick to plantin’ my garden by the moon and trustin’ my gut. That’s always worked for me.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Personality, Maybe?

Maybe this horoscope stuff tells somethin’ about why Sarah Jessica acts the way she does, you know, all stylish and city-like. Maybe it explains why she wears them fancy shoes. I don’t know. I wear good sturdy boots myself. Good for stompin’ around the yard and keepin’ them varmints away.

In Conclusion…

Anyways, that’s all I know about this Sarah Jessica Parker horoscope hoo-ha. It’s a whole heap of information, and I ain’t sure I understand half of it. But it’s somethin’ to chew on, I guess. Like a good piece of corn bread. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed them chickens. They’re gettin’ mighty restless. And that’s a sign I understand real good!

Tags: [Sarah Jessica Parker, Horoscope, Astrology, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Birth Chart, Natal Chart, Zodiac Sign]